Weddings and me.

I hate weddings.
Please do me a favor and DO NOT invite me to yours. Even as a joke.
I dread them.
I loathe them.

Why is it suddenly such a big topic of conversation? or rather monologue?
I've just come back from one.

And no, I wasn't allowed to carry my earphones.. Listening to someone else's music for 3 hours? 3 hours of pure simple minded, idiotic, common man, lowest common denominator of what can barely pass as music.
Now i'm by no means an elitist, to each his own, but EXACTLY that. The "TO EACH" part implies I don't want any part of it.

That's not even why I'm less than my normal state of indifference.

I hate dancing. I don't understand it, i dont pretend to, i just like to keep away, and please always do me the courtesy of leaving me be..
To me, dancing is the lowest form of exuberance possible. Your only excuse for dancing is being drunk out of your mind.

There's not a single song that played that even made me for a moment raise an eyebrow, let alone an appendage to attempt a move, but yet, i was dramatically pulled to the dance floor, where i did my best "im a zombie" impression, this entails standing still and looking around at people like they were cattle.

Horrible.

I do people the courtesy of not opening up their lives to the fucking waste of time they are, I don't bring up the rubbish they consider "problems", neither do i mock them for it. I don't plunge them into existentialist crisis by questioning their actions, desires and ambitions. I don't even mock them for the simplistic and ineffective methods they attempt to ameliorate their dramas of lives.
Then, i wish they'd just do me the grandest honor of NOT being invited to these "occasions" and go on without me. Or if they do insist on inviting me, allow me to stand in an extreme dark corner and silently witness everything from afar.


Today was the wedding of my oldest friend ever. If i had to describe it in simple 'worldly' ways for the simple minded of you to understand, he is my "best friend" of sorts, one of them anyway.
If i can't stand his wedding, it would be safe to assume i'd loathe any subsequent ones i attend.

If you ever read this my friend, you know me well enough to know i mean you no offense, I love you.
But you'll also know, I loathe weddings.