The Conversation of Existentialism

The Conversation of Existentialism is a long one to have, the conversing parties being you and yourself. I’ve never come across a simpler concept that was so all encompassing and complex within itself.
It almost allures you in with sense of finality and meaning or a definitive lack of it therein; and once in, you realize it to be the quicksand the ancient mystics warned you of. Yet, even within their supposed attempts to dissuade you from self discovery, they seem to create a subconscious want to submerge yourself head first into the pool of questioning everything.

The premier question being WHY.
Why what you may ask, the answer being “Why anything”
What is the point of everything and therefore, what is the point of anything.

I do realize my own shortcomings in describing something that even great people have failed to fully capture in words, yet through the limitations in my capacity to loquaciously describe this which I’ve been going through, know that it does not belittle or limit the intensity of how much I think I feel it.
Why did I use “I think” instead of the more acceptable “I know”? Because I know nothing.

I don’t believe in everlasting bonds of relationships or supernatural powers. I don’t know what happens when I die but I know I will. Statistically and empirically, I can suggest, nothing happens when I die. 4 million years is enough for there to have been at least ONE testable, widely accepted ‘truth’ about what happens when we die. Instead, it boils down to just uneducated guessing, and I mean uneducated in every sense of the word, for only a very very insignificant section of the scientific population even accept the theory of an after-life, let alone the theory of a soul.


Why is it them imperative to have this conversation at all?
Well let us look at it this way. Children have all sorts of problems. From homework to not enough television time; from play ground fights to not getting their desired toys; from being unable to talk to cute members of the opposite sex to not having the money and freedom they think they deserve.
These are exactly the problems we have as adults, albeit upgraded versions of these.
People who never push through this level are your average general populace. They eventually succumb to a “mid-life crisis” and push through it with material or emotional replacements for their supposed problems. Their mid-life crisis becomes a persistent phenomenon and they live building false ideas of entitlement and sometimes is replaced by shallow egos. Affairs are had, expensive things bought, temper tantrums thrown and sometimes anguish projected onto other innocent people.

The Percentage of the general population that breaks through the first layer are people that reach the second level of problems. The problems brought by spiritualism or religion or even by the absence of it. This is where people question the existence of a creator, a lot of people that reach here lean towards believing in a supernatural creator and therefore eventually get trapped here forever and exist in limbo between here and the first layer, believing in a mix problems caused by the first and second layer.

The last kind push through, resolve their out problems and are fairly well settled with the idea of a lack of a creator and therefore battle with the biggest problem of all. The self.
What to do with yourself in a world that was born of random probability and chance.

This is the toughest and biggest battle. Once you’ve reached here, you either fall into a deep depression or reach heights of happiness not even known to be attainable before. From here, you can never fall back into the first category, although if you’ve rushed your way here, you can slip back into the second.


Now, the Why.
Would you live your life as a child? Is that because you are really only scared to grow up? What if really this IS the only life you’ll ever lead. What do you have to lose then? Would you not want to let go of the petty squabbles of problems you have now?
The choice is simple really. To grow up, or not to.

To Free will or not to free will

Do we have any?

I recently heard an interesting lecture on freewill where I came across this idea.

“If we reversed time, back to 1901 and let it play out all over again, would anything at all be different? With exactly the same stimulus and the same events in the same sequence, NOTHING would be different no matter how many times you reversed time and let it play out till today”

This is such huge thought when regarding us as having free will.
Here I wish to clarify I don’t regard freewill as having anything supernatural components, it has neither to be associated with concepts of karma nor fate or destiny.
We’re regarding freewill merely as an individual’s ability to make an independent decision; independent from what though! Ah! A hole in the plot isn’t it!
Women living in the middle-east believe they exert free will by wearing a burkha, women in India do this by wearing traditional dressed and covering their heads, while women in Brazil do this by wearing hot-pants and dancing topless in the streets. Is free will then merely an exertion of your choices which are not only tainted by full our corrupted by socio-economic factors? I’d say yes. What other factors play important roles? Genes? Family? Your chosen/birth religion? Friends? Sure! All of them..

Whether you like tea or coffee,
Whether you are a virgin or a person of tremendous sexual ‘experience’
Whether you are short tempered or peaceful
Whether you are straight, gay, bisexual, these are already predetermined by all the factors mentioned above. What then is you! You’re just a collection of experiences and genes.
I could create a replica of you, put it though the exact same circumstances and experiences and it would be you with the same level of decision making and would be identical in every way possible, this is already well captured in the quoted paragraph.
WHAT then is freewill and why do we hang onto it for dear life? Because there’s no other option that is easier to swallow. Believing we can control things gives us some sense of meaning and serves to ameliorate our existence to at the very least a tolerable level.

Do you believe in free will?
Do you have logical reasons to? I’d love to hear them, maybe be proved wrong, maybe help add to my theory.

HomeSickness/Nostalgia

Being homesick or nostalgic is such a peculiar feeling.
From personal experience, both felt only when you feel even the slightest dissatisfaction with state of your current existence. The intensity of nostalgia or homesickness is almost inversely proportional to the level of your happiness with your current existence.

Don’t let nostalgia consume you. If all it requires is beating the blues that seem to get your down in your daily affair, should be easy right? Wrong.
Fighting nostalgic to begin with, is a subjective proposition. A lot of people, people like me (HAAAHHHHHHHHH, right) have learned to harness it to be creative but an overwhelmingly larger percentage of people who have no outlets are crushed under the weight of heavy hearts.

Ridding yourself of consuming crushing nostalgia is simple.
Plan for your intellectual/creative future: You live in the past because your future seems hazy at best. There’s no scope in your life to better yourself except for insignificant ways like learning a new recipe a month or watching a new movie a week. You have to plan self betterment, if you’re not planning self betterment; you very much deserve to be feeling down.

Don’t put your past up on a pedestal, don’t be afraid to let it go: The second most common reason people suffer is that the uncertainties of the future lead them to glamorize their past, you can spot these easily, they’re the ones to always only talk of the past in endearing ways as the good old days and show a certain disdain for tomorrow or even today

And mostly importantly,
Forgive yourself: The most common reason people are weighed down is that they blame themselves for everything. I know this goes against everything I’ve ever written, but forgive yourself.
Blaming yourself for EVERYTHING is very productive, but not here.
You’re not to blame. It isn’t selfish to want self betterment. It isn’t selfish to not want to be treated with a certain level of humanity. You’ve only acted in the only way you know how, you don’t have to be that person anymore, you have your entire life ahead of you, but only if you plan to have one.
Ask someone for a hug, have a drink or ten, cry about it and be done with it.
Wake up the next day, grab and pen and sit and plan out the rest of your life..

Free Philosophy

Let me summarize things for you.
Namely because I've slotted you all as people who don't generally bother themselves with worrying about the bigger picture like i do * narcissistic snicker*.

1) Never expect anything. Ever. It isn't called pessimism, it is instead called realism. Or Realist behavior. Or something to that effect.
Why? Because this world isn't as altruistic as you think it to be and frankly my dear, no one gives a damn about your little problems. If they pretend to do so, rest assured it isn't permanent and therefore not real.

2)Trust no one: Well that sounds cool doesn't it? Trust no one. So authoritative. Well actually, I mean trust only yourself with everything. Or trust different people with different bits of information and hope these people never meet.
Why? Haven't I told you this already? *sigh. Ok sit down, you're a bit slower than i initially gave you credit for. Do you have a single friend from the time you were five? No? ten maybe? no? that's my point. People change, circumstances change, but bad information put out about you, is permanent. Should you care? Maybe not. Will you care, You definitely will. Oh and on that note, Trust me.

3) Don't have an ambition: Money is pointless. If you think you need a television the size of your wall, 10.1 surround sound, laptops as thin as paper and toilet paper and thin as air, stop reading now.
Why? Easy! whats the fucking point. If you've convinced yourself stuff advertised on television makes you happy, die now.. I'm sure you bastards are pretentious enough to think yourselves different. Maybe you believe "LOVE" keeps you going and the "Outdoors" is where your true inspiration lies. You pretentious idiots. Talk to me when you finally realize that you're nothing but a host for a parasite called life, which sucks you dry, is contagious like the black plague or maybe worse and is irreversibly corrupting of your tender insides.

3) Don't get married/Don't have children: Imaging being with one person for the rest of your life in a way where you have to be a)romantic b) a moral support c)a caregiver d)a confidant e)a doormat for their insecurities..
Having a child? How egotistical are you that you should believe this world will be bettered by the retarded poop you call a child and give a human name. You're just adding to this worlds fucking problems. Do you know ANYTHING about something called a "carbon footprint"? I can buy twenty huge SUVs and make a bonfire of new ones each day of the week until i die, and yet, do less damage to the planet then you having ONE kid. Still want a kid? do you know how many kids grow up in orphanages with things like christanity and penises shoved down their throats? Oh my mistake, there's a dog pound next door, why adopt a kid when you can have a puppy!! Oh PUPPY!! Look at his big puppy eyes! Can we take one home please???
Fricken idiots.

4) Stop paying attention to the fact that I've mentioned point 3 twice. Bloody pedants. Typical behaviour. Let's focus on an irrelevant "mistake" shall we! Not getting married and not having children? How DARE he say that! Who the FUCK does he think he is! He doesn't even know to number properly.
Way to miss the "big picture". No Cake for you.

5) Be better than yesterday: well if not yesterday, then the day before. If not that, then last week, but ensure progress. If you're not going forward, you're sinking. *P.S doesn't always apply. for example, you won't sink if you don't go forward on a paved road, you'll just be the idiot holding up the pedestrian traffic at rush hour.
Why? You're alive. Can you kill yourself? Do you want to? Assuming you answered no to these questions, what else would you rather do, live a life comparable to a vegetative state, or progress in EVERY way that interests you. (assuming you answered yes, please IM me, i have questions for you) (assuming you're the kind of fool who doesn't know what IM means, please send me a message or comment if you rather that)

6) Debate people. Constantly: well i don't mean a full out war, i just mean a good clean argument with an open mind.
Why? That's how you'll learn more than you'll ever learn by only listening and not debating. You'll also form your best arguments with your back up against a wall, and if you can't, you'd want to rethink why you're on the side you are on.

7) Read. Watch. Listen.
This is the age of information.. The internet says our mobile phones have the same computing power as the computers NASA used to send armstrong to the moon. Do you use it only to "tweet", "message", "facebook" or er google "cute cats in hats"?


That's it. Sounds simple? It isn't..
I assure you there are more, but this seems to be a good beginner's list.

Next week on the "Free Philosophy" Series,
"Freud was wrong, I don't seek physical relations with family members nor do i want to kill my dad"
and
"Are you stuck in a rut, in a job going no where, in a relationship where you're the more intelligent/good looking/aware person and don't know how to change your life for the better? Buy a gun and shoot yourself"

Stay tuned for more and be sure to participate in the "Is Desmond Crazy or just plain Drunk" contest, right after these words from our sponsors.

Worlds - in perspective. - incomplete

How many worlds do you live in?
Billions.
If the world you currently live in is nothing but a projection of your own perspective seeking vainly to elucidate the physical world that encompasses you, then we can thereby consider that as a uniquely different world from the one I know and live in.
Your outlook on life, your social surrounding, your value system and even genetic makeup can very drastically affect the structure and very fiber of the elements that compose your world.

In our separate little segments of our own realities, we live by a set of evolving rules as defined by how our inner subconscious reacts to the world formed as a result of collision of the worlds created by everyone interacting on any level.

Me

Im me
in a weird way
that no one else can be.