The real Desmond.

The various people I associate with, I’ve come to realized have very different perceptions of who I am as a person. There is no standard common line that can be drawn in their perceptions as to who I am as a person.
I’ve been called a stone emotionally, dead inside. Also, I’ve been told that I’m an emotional person and feel every emotion more intensely than even the normal average Joe.
I’ve been told that I’m hyper sensitive and in the same breath told that nothing affects me and that I won’t shed a tear at probably even the funeral of a loved one.
I’ve been told that I’m inertly a nice person and that I really honestly care for and about people. But also that I’d kick someone down the next minute if I thought there was some reward to be had for me.
I’m an ultra confident lead guitarist that can play blazing solos at the speed of light; I’m the rhythm guitarist who hangs around the back of the band hoping no one notices my legs vibrating with stage fright.
I’m excellent at academics and can outdo every at the toughest exam papers without even proper preparation; I’m the guy that fails in subjects so easy they should’ve been made redundant.
I’m the hardest working employee around, one that forgoes his own personal life for the greater good of the company; I’m the guy that lets work suffer just so I can write this post and posts like this one.
I’m the person people confide to, because my inner state is like a safe; I’m not told things because I’m too ‘chatty’
I’m too mature for my age! Why must a 24 year old boy think like he’s 30??; Why are you so immature? When will you even GROW UP?!
I’m an excellent musician; I’m not even good enough to make a band.
I’m husband material, you’d spend the rest of your life with me; You’re a short term kind of boy, I don’t see this having any future.
Why are you so serious all the time!; Why must everything be a joke to you!

If I’m all these people, who really am I? Why must my inner being reside such a state of eternal turmoil that I don’t even remember who I really am?
Or do I just like enacting out different characters for the benefit of others.
Am I living my life whenever with company, in a way that I think they’d accept.
Has my existence really come down to being such an altruistic person that I change who I am to suit people and their moods?
Or is my personally like a prism? Does each person that looks at me only see a certain color determined by the place they stand? Do people see the qualities in me that they choose to see? Maybe I’m actually all these people! My personally may just be big enough o accommodate all these personalities and yet shine out only the one the viewer chooses to notice.