Namely because I've slotted you all as people who don't generally bother themselves with worrying about the bigger picture like i do * narcissistic snicker*.
1) Never expect anything. Ever. It isn't called pessimism, it is instead called realism. Or Realist behavior. Or something to that effect.
Why? Because this world isn't as altruistic as you think it to be and frankly my dear, no one gives a damn about your little problems. If they pretend to do so, rest assured it isn't permanent and therefore not real.
2)Trust no one: Well that sounds cool doesn't it? Trust no one. So authoritative. Well actually, I mean trust only yourself with everything. Or trust different people with different bits of information and hope these people never meet.
Why? Haven't I told you this already? *sigh. Ok sit down, you're a bit slower than i initially gave you credit for. Do you have a single friend from the time you were five? No? ten maybe? no? that's my point. People change, circumstances change, but bad information put out about you, is permanent. Should you care? Maybe not. Will you care, You definitely will. Oh and on that note, Trust me.
3) Don't have an ambition: Money is pointless. If you think you need a television the size of your wall, 10.1 surround sound, laptops as thin as paper and toilet paper and thin as air, stop reading now.
Why? Easy! whats the fucking point. If you've convinced yourself stuff advertised on television makes you happy, die now.. I'm sure you bastards are pretentious enough to think yourselves different. Maybe you believe "LOVE" keeps you going and the "Outdoors" is where your true inspiration lies. You pretentious idiots. Talk to me when you finally realize that you're nothing but a host for a parasite called life, which sucks you dry, is contagious like the black plague or maybe worse and is irreversibly corrupting of your tender insides.
3) Don't get married/Don't have children: Imaging being with one person for the rest of your life in a way where you have to be a)romantic b) a moral support c)a caregiver d)a confidant e)a doormat for their insecurities..
Having a child? How egotistical are you that you should believe this world will be bettered by the retarded poop you call a child and give a human name. You're just adding to this worlds fucking problems. Do you know ANYTHING about something called a "carbon footprint"? I can buy twenty huge SUVs and make a bonfire of new ones each day of the week until i die, and yet, do less damage to the planet then you having ONE kid. Still want a kid? do you know how many kids grow up in orphanages with things like christanity and penises shoved down their throats? Oh my mistake, there's a dog pound next door, why adopt a kid when you can have a puppy!! Oh PUPPY!! Look at his big puppy eyes! Can we take one home please???
Fricken idiots.
4) Stop paying attention to the fact that I've mentioned point 3 twice. Bloody pedants. Typical behaviour. Let's focus on an irrelevant "mistake" shall we! Not getting married and not having children? How DARE he say that! Who the FUCK does he think he is! He doesn't even know to number properly.
Way to miss the "big picture". No Cake for you.
5) Be better than yesterday: well if not yesterday, then the day before. If not that, then last week, but ensure progress. If you're not going forward, you're sinking. *P.S doesn't always apply. for example, you won't sink if you don't go forward on a paved road, you'll just be the idiot holding up the pedestrian traffic at rush hour.
Why? You're alive. Can you kill yourself? Do you want to? Assuming you answered no to these questions, what else would you rather do, live a life comparable to a vegetative state, or progress in EVERY way that interests you. (assuming you answered yes, please IM me, i have questions for you) (assuming you're the kind of fool who doesn't know what IM means, please send me a message or comment if you rather that)
6) Debate people. Constantly: well i don't mean a full out war, i just mean a good clean argument with an open mind.
Why? That's how you'll learn more than you'll ever learn by only listening and not debating. You'll also form your best arguments with your back up against a wall, and if you can't, you'd want to rethink why you're on the side you are on.
7) Read. Watch. Listen.
This is the age of information.. The internet says our mobile phones have the same computing power as the computers NASA used to send armstrong to the moon. Do you use it only to "tweet", "message", "facebook" or er google "cute cats in hats"?
That's it. Sounds simple? It isn't..
I assure you there are more, but this seems to be a good beginner's list.
Next week on the "Free Philosophy" Series,
"Freud was wrong, I don't seek physical relations with family members nor do i want to kill my dad"
and
"Are you stuck in a rut, in a job going no where, in a relationship where you're the more intelligent/good looking/aware person and don't know how to change your life for the better? Buy a gun and shoot yourself"
Stay tuned for more and be sure to participate in the "Is Desmond Crazy or just plain Drunk" contest, right after these words from our sponsors.
No comments:
Post a Comment