The joys of me

I make excellent company, maybe not to others, but definitely to myself.
It has been forever since i've been out just with myself, which leads me to decide that maybe i should revert to spending more time with myself rather than focusing on other people for a while. The subtle joys of finishing a book at a cafe following by a long walk with slow meditative music often brings out sides of me that lay dormant until these very circumstances occur.
After the first thirty minutes of walk, you become more oblivious to the surrounding, especially if you are particularly familiar with the route. The job of crossing roads, avoiding collision with pedestrians and also avoiding being hit by traffic becomes subconscious as you weave through the few people on the road trying earnestly to get home, or wherever they may have been headed. The entire scene before your eyes melds together in an interesting bokeh as your mind turns inward to listen to yourself think, and think you shall, for it is only so long that you can keep up appearances and lies to yourself.
Free of obligation to talk, you finally speak the truth, the all revealing truth that disrobes you, leaving behind a very conscious fifteen year boy trying his best to conceal his shortcomings.
It is then that you have a choice, stand tall and embrace your shortcomings only to vow to change them so that they no longer are indeed your shortcomings or you could do worse, you could accept your shortcomings as being markers for who you are and vow not to change them, for they now represent you as a person. Probably the worst thing you could do however, is stand there either trying to cover up yourself with your hands or stand there believing yourself to be fully clothed even as the mirror infront of you shows you otherwise.

We're all in all these three characterizations at some or the other degree with respect to each individual thought and action that we have to deal with. We accept certain truths faster than others and some truths are never accepted.

But i digress, what did i intend to write about.
*thinks.

Ah yes, the joys of me.
I need to better explore why i do the things i do. But i already know what i do is a result of the way i think and the way i think is a result of the experiences ive had.
This is more convoluted to explain than i initially gave it credit for.

I may need to revisit this when i can think in more coherent terms.
Until then, i wish you the peace and clarity of thought i just had the pleasure of experiencing; and if you do walk and write about your thoughts, please keep me posted.