Being Me.

The most mentally sorted person around, that what I’ve often been referred to as
While the glue that binds my mind and thoughts together slowly dissolves with each passing day
The cracks uncovered, evidence of unlived lives and loves, dreams and ambitions
Regret of people left behind, regret of alternate lives I’ve forgone.

Curl your negative emotions into a ball; force it to the back of your brain
Until the day the seal restraining them can no longer withstand.
And in an instant you’re reminded of every one of these heartbreaking moments in an instant
In an instant, you’ve relieved every painful memory you’ve ever had.

What then is it that facilitates the proverbial opening of the floodgates of emotions?
With the eventual pressure on that small little seal,
It can be anything as complex as a relationship to something as simple as a song.
Even the weather make a person reminisce of bygone times.

Strong factors constantly knock at the door of my sanity, asking to be let it
Constantly requesting they form part of my thought process, constantly craving attention.
Urging my brain to be indecisive, urging my brain to comply with their whims.
Forcing me to be less practical a man, changing my very essence to incorporate nonsense

How much longer can I withstand the onslaught of indecisiveness?
I’m just a boy that wants to be, to live, more so to survive
I guess now, it is just a matter of time, It is.
How much longer can I be me, instead of the me others so desire.