In my place..

That’s where I’ll always mentally be. In my place.
With people, with situations, with emotions.
My place is a safe one. It’s the safety blanket that protects me form the cold, it is the cool breeze that soothes me from damage already incurred..
The concept of a happy place always had importance with respect to where I stand and what I am. I need a happy place to function out of, or functioning itself will cease to be a certainty.
Try not to live out of my place too often. Too easily affected by actions, words, thoughts.
Too affected by people.

How do I effectively stay away and remain buried in my place then? How do I move past the cold and the undeserving? How do I cease to be traumatized, even affected, by everyone around me.

For having a cold heart, people seem to forget that it is made of ice.
Ice is as brittle as can be. Ice can be shattered by as much as a hammer and as little as a loud sound.
Once shattered, the shards of ice can never be redone. They’re already melting and find their own way as far from the core as possible. Melting into oblivion, into as state from wherein return is almost never possible.
Cold hearted. Takes on a whole different meaning now doesn’t it?

Some people aren’t cold hearted because they are uncaring, rather it stems from unconditional care.
Some people just cannot afford to be hyper-sensitive about every little insignificant detail of your life.
Some people care too much.

So I try to lie here. In a state of what can be described as pure and absolute nothingness.
Trying to feel nothing is infinitely tougher than actually feeling something. Yet so much of importance is attributed to ‘feeling’.

I attempt to be a stone, I do.
A stone inside out.
Never to feel, never to need, never to remember and be nostalgic.
Where will that take me? To a place of higher purpose? To a place of nirvana? To a place of inner happiness?
Heaven knows. All I know is, once the pain stops, only better things are to be had. Once the clouds of emotion roll over, only higher purposes are to be found. A higher purpose that will hopefully add some meaning to this strained existence.