I wish I could downgrade your importance to me. I wish I could function without accounting for your presence on this physical, mental and emotional plane.
But you're here.
As a example of how perfectly tangible life can get.
As a personification of something that shouldn't exist, while at the same time, staring at my emotions. Staring right at from where they emerge, with not so much as a feeling for my state of being at the time..
Yes, let not my state of mind, or lack of tranquility therein change you're disposition or the merry cheerful state you seem to be in. My troubles are all implied and metaphorical in nature, or so you think. You sincerely believe that I have the power to turn this around. That I can magically wave my hand to negate the past in a way that allows me to suddenly function without my mind being influenced by you're presence in my mind.
You're coldness extends to the extent wherein I'm convinced you don't care whether I so much as exist or not.
Is this really reality you project? A reality that I have to accept and account for? Or just another extension of a very elaborate mask you wear in order to throw me off your scent? In order to quench my bloodlust and move away from your mental space. Is this necessary to function for you? Is it for me? Will it make us better people for having recognized this as the truth?
So I wonder, when ARE we going to come clean? When are all the cards going to be thrown on the table? When is there going to be nothing left to hide? When can I walk away, fully satisfied that all my emotions are going to be effectively conveyed with you misunderstanding their very essence?
Soon, I remind myself..
Oh so very soon..
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