Love

I honestly wish I'd never known love.
People say, its better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, they've never suffered the heartbreak that ensues from most relationships. Heartbreak isn't something that cures with time or that fades away upto a point where it ceases to exist. It is permanent and will always linger around to haunt you. For, you never forget those people you lost your heart to and never will completely be able to desensitize your emotions to them.
Me? I've suffered my share of heartbreaks and loves lost. Some a result of bad luck but most self inflicted, and it just gets worse. If only you could anesthetize that part of your brain that processes love, you'd be in a much more ideal place, I know I would be.

Each love lost is like a wound or gash on your body, most of these are incurable and will fester until you find yourself sitting in solitude wasting precious tears in nostalgia. Mind you, I use the word nostalgia here because of how it aptly describes this state of being. A yearning to return to the good life once lived, however inappropriate or impractical this may be to achieve in modern day.

Of course the person in question has definitely changed and/or has moved on to what they think is a better life and place for them on this earth, Its just you that are incapable of change, or so you'll be lead to think. Don't be fooled, everyone walks around with bits of their past looming over their heads threatening to destroy a future that hasn't even played out yet.

Of course the catharsis of my emotions hasn't really reached completion and it requires me to grow mentally to a certain pre-requisite before I can move onwards in my journey towards eternal sunshine. Until that day, I'll just lay here amongst my negativeness and resentment and at the same time feelings of loneliness and general abandonment. Scrutinizing each and every particle that made up all my previous relationships to appease my ego, in knowing that I did all I could from keeping my love life from falling apart.

Love may change the lives of people for the positive, with most however, its just the most painful emotion/experience they will ever feel!